Birth Mothers FAQ
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- Do I get to choose my child's new family?
Yes. Every birth mother has a choice of whom she will consider as the adoptive parents of the baby to be born to her. I believe every birth mother knows in her heart what is right for her baby. A birth mother who decides to work with my office is asked to tell me exactly what she wants in an adoptive family. I, in turn, ask her the following questions:
- Is a single parent acceptable or would she prefer a couple?
- How old can the adopting parents be?
- What religions are acceptable to the birth mother?
- Can the parents have other children? If so, do they have to be adopted?
- Can I speak to more than one potential family before I choose?
Yes. Every birth mother who works with my office is given a choice of between two to four potential adoptive families who meet her conditions and an opportunity to speak to each family directly. These women should feel free to talk to potential adoptive parents themselves. It is the prime reason why you select open adoption. Birth mothers have many choices available and can choose wisely by speaking directly to as many prospective adoptive families as they wish. Most of the time the birth mother knows she is making the right choice after speaking directly to the adoptive family.
- Can I meet the adoptive family?
In California, every birth mother has the right to meet the adoptive family at the family's expense. After the birth mother makes her choice of adoptive family, she may decide to stay in her home state to give birth or come to the home state of the adoptive parents. Most adoptive families who come to me live in California. If the birth mother chooses to come to California to give birth, she is usually here approximately one month. This stay is always at the adoptive family's expense. I usually suggest that a birth mother come to an area close to the family's home. There, she has three choices as to where to live:
- She can have her own apartment;
- She can stay with someone, i.e., room with a family;
- She can stay with the adoptive family.
Living nearby to the adoptive family enables the birth mother to get to know the adoptive family well. She can interact with them on a day-to-day basis and feel even more comfortable with her decision.
- Who pays what expenses?
All of my services are free to birth mothers. If a birth mother has financial needs, those needs are paid by the adoptive family if they are lawfully allowed. These expenses include pregnancy-related medical and hospital expenses not covered by insurance or State Aid, and any living expenses during the period that the birth mother is unable to work due to her pregnancy and that are lawfully allowed. One reason a birth mother should call my office is to discuss her financial needs. Every birth mother in California is entitled to her own lawyer and counseling, if she wishes, both at the adoptive parents' expense.
- What is an open adoption?
In an open adoption, the birth mother chooses the adoptive family herself. She meets them; she knows them. In California, a birth mother has the right to the full disclosure of all information pertaining to the adoptive family. This includes their legal names, age, religion, marital status, length of current marriage, and employment status. Remember -- you are never alone in this process. My warm and gentle staff will be there for you throughout. Once a birth mother decides to work with me, she is given my home telephone number. I am available 7 days a week, either toll-free at (800) 637-2882 or at my home phone, collect.
Because of the sensitive nature of adoption, each birth mother deserves the best care. I have been helping birth mothers for almost 40 years. My professional staff is sensitive to your needs. We care about you -- not just about your baby. Please contact us at any time and we will get back to you.