Adoption Books

Reading (process)
Reading (process) (Photo credits:
There is a saying that I have heard throughout my life that has stayed with me. The saying is: Rich people have libraries,  poor people have big TVs.

Now, this is in no way a derogatory remark towards those who struggle financially, but it is a testament to the power of knowledge and the importance of being educated about the things that are happening to you and around you. You can never be too prepared for anything, whether it is prior to entering into a sexual relationship, after realizing you have become pregnant, or trying to decide what your options are as a pregnant teen.

I have compiled a list of books that I would like to recommend if you are a teen anywhere in the United States facing the temptation of having sex, facing unplanned pregnancy, or wondering about your options, this literature can provide you with information to help you find your way.

This is not your mother’s book! It is a real look at teen sex and what you need to know:

This book is going to answer those confusing questions you have about your body and your heart:

Here is a complete guide for all things unplanned pregnancy:

A true story of one  young girl’s life turned upside down by teen pregnancy and much more!

If you are looking for answers to the tough questions regarding abortion, this is the book for you

It is recognized that those who take an active involvement in reading have “higher GPA’s, higher intelligence, and general knowledge than those [who] don’t.” (Stansberry). Reading is an indulgence that enhances our knowledge by making us use our brain and causing us to think more and therefore enhancing our intelligence. Since books help improve both memory and concentration, one can say that reading makes it easier to study a subject and retain the knowledge received from the subject, thus directly making someone more knowledgeable. Dr. Anne E. Cunningham, of the University of California Berkeley, has shown through studies that reading enhances analytical thinking, “Readers improve their general knowledge, and more importantly are able to spot patterns quicker.” (Stansberry). If one can spot patterns at a faster rate, then analytical skills are enhanced by speed. Books are used nearly every day in schools to teach difficult subjects, there is a reason why schools of all grades assign a variety of textbooks. This is because books hold a variety of information within their pages, of all subjects. Brian Tracy, a self-help author, has said that “one way to become an expert in your chosen field is to read 100 books on the subject.” (Isaac). To some, this may seem preposterous but the matter of fact is that different authors know different kinds of knowledge, and by exposing oneself to a large variety of books and absorbing their information with understanding, one can easily become an expert in a chosen subject.

It’s your life. Shouldn’t you be as much of an expert as possible?

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Adoption: Research the Love

Interracial adoption
Interracial adoption (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Teen pregnancy is often discouraging, confusing, and filled with difficult choices. The desire to keep your baby and do your best is tempting for a lot of young pregnant girls. Unfortunately, age, circumstances, financial distress, and many other factors make it nearly impossible to do so successfully. We encourage adoption because it allows you the opportunity to have the future you had planned before the unplanned occurred. It also gives you the chance to be a part of your child’s life if you want and see him grow into a well cared for individual who is loved and given opportunities that wouldn’t have been available to him as the child of a single teenaged mother. I would encourage you to research not only adoption as a process, but to also read some adoption stories and see how wonderful the experience can be for both sides involved. There are hundreds of beautiful adoption stories available to you online and it is obvious that adoptive parents have a very special and close bond with the birth mothers who choose them to be parents to their children. These testimonies can go a long way in easing your mind about how adoption can be and why it may be the right choice for you.

To help you get started, I wanted to share a short story that I came across recently. It is a simple and sweet letter about the adoption of her son and the decision change that the birth mother experienced, which resulted in a beautiful family being created.

You can read this inspiring story here:

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Teen Pregnancy in the U.S. - You Are Not Alone

For those of you who may be feeling alone and wondering how many other young girls are facing an unplanned pregnancy as you are, I thought I’d share some statistics with you. As you can see, you are clearly not the only teen making the tough decisions that you are faced with today. Unplanned pregnancy happens in every state: Mississippi, Texas, California, Maine, Illinois. Teen girls become pregnant every day in the United States. Imagine if no one in your situation ever thought to choose adoption. Imagine the enormous number of young women who, statistically, would never finish high school or attend college. The amount of money that taxpayers would have to contribute so these young mothers and their children could have food and medical care would be astonishing. While this data regarding unplanned pregnancy among teens is shocking, there are options available that offer both you and your baby a successful future. Choosing adoption, not abortion, saves more than just one life.
Teen birth rates differ substantially by age, racial and ethnic group, and region of the country. Most adolescents who give birth are 18 or older; in 2012, 72 percent of all teen births occurred to 18- to 19-year-olds.[1] Birth rates are also higher among Hispanic and black adolescents than among their white counterparts. In 2012, Hispanic adolescent females ages 15-19 had the highest birth rate (46.3 births per 1,000 adolescent females), followed by black adolescent females (43.9 births per 1,000 adolescent females) and white adolescent females (20.5 births per 1,000 adolescent females) (see Figure 1).[1] Estimates from 2010 data show that one in seven adolescent females (14.4%) in the United States will give birth by her 20th birthday, with substantial differences by race/ethnicity: 10 percent of white adolescent females, 21 percent of black adolescent females, and 24 percent of Hispanic adolescent females.[3]
Although Hispanics currently have the highest teen birth rates, they have also the most dramatic recent decline in rates.  Since 2007, the teen birth rate has declined by 39% for Hispanics, compared with declines of 29% for blacks and 25% for whites.[4]

Figure 1: Birth rates per 1,000 females ages 15-19, by race/ethnicity, 1990-2012

Source: Hamilton, B. E., Martin, J. A., & Ventura, S. J.(2013). Births: Preliminary data for 2012. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
 Substantial geographic variation also exists in adolescent childbearing across the United States. In 2010, the lowest teen birth rates were reported in the Northeast, while rates were highest in states across the southern part of the country (see Figure 2).[10]See how your state compares on birth rates, pregnancy rates, sexual activity, and contraceptive use with OAH’s reproductive health state fact sheets

Source: Martin, J. A., Hamilton, B. E., Ventura, S. J., & Osterman, M. J. K. (2013).Births: Final data for 2011. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
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Is Abortion Better?

As a pregnant teen, you may feel overwhelmed with all of the information that you’re getting on what your options are. Obviously, adoption and parenting are things to think about, but it seems that a lot of young girls turn to the other option when faced with unplanned pregnancy - abortion.

Abortion is the process by which a newly conceived fetus is euthanized and removed from the mother’s womb. Pro Life activists refer to this fetus as a life, while Pro Choice activists call it a product of conception. Either way you look at it, abortion can have long lasting, potentially harmful, effects on a woman’s mind and, in some cases, her body. One woman recently shared her story with me. She is now in her 30s with children, but at one time, she was 16 and pregnant. She chose abortion.

“I was sixteen years old, invincible, and in love with a guy named Mike, who made me feel like I was the most important thing in his life. I wasn’t a bad kid, really, but I had been skipping school some to spend the day with him, he was a few years older and had already graduated. We were together for about 4 months when I found out that I was pregnant. He was set to go off to boot camp for the Marines soon and I still had two years of high school to go. I went to the local health department where they did a pregnancy test, and confirmed what I already knew. He was shocked, to say the least, and our relationship immediately began to unravel. I have often wondered, had he been more supportive, would I have made a different choice? I felt very alone, and almost as if I were the only one to blame, despite the fact that he had just as much responsibility in it as I did. He began ignoring my phone calls, stopped coming over, and even when I saw him out in public with friends, he didn’t talk to me. I was an outcast, abandoned by the boy I loved and who I thought had loved me. I think he even started to see someone else. My parents had divorced recently and while I did tell my mom about the pregnancy, I never did tell my father. My mom was really great about the whole thing, though she did make me say the words out loud long after she figured out what was going on in the midst of my uncontrollable sobbing. She said she’d support whatever decision I made, but did express her opinion that motherhood might not be the best option for me at such a young age. After a couple of weeks, I made the decision to end the pregnancy. I wish I hadn’t.”

As a young, pregnant teen, sometimes there is the assumption that abortion will solve the problem and life will resume normally, but that’s not always the case.

“My boyfriend, though he could scarcely be called that by that point, had agreed to pay for the abortion and when he brought the money over, I had my best friend take it from him while I hid in the other room. I couldn’t even bear to look at him, after the cold way that he had treated me the past few weeks. My mom and I left very early one morning and headed to Atlanta for my appointment at the clinic. My mom’s car, which had never given her any trouble, broke down on the way there and for the 100th time, I questioned my decision. We got towed to the shop and my appointment was rescheduled for the next week. I had time to change my mind, but I didn’t. I felt as if I were helplessly being propelled forward on autopilot. The next week, the car didn’t break down and I went through with the procedure. I don’t think that I even really knew what I had done. I just knew I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I was lucky that the abortion didn’t leave any lasting damage, as can sometimes happen, and I did go on to have children later in life. Becoming a mom really made me aware of what I had done and even though it has been almost 20 years, I still think about it often and I am aware each year when Fall comes around that I would have given birth at that time. I wish I could go back and tell that young, frightened girl that it’s okay to not be ready for parenthood, but it doesn’t mean you have to end a life. I wish I could tell her to choose adoption. I wish there had been more information available to her about adoption and that someone would’ve told her she could choose open adoption and not have to miss out on her child’s life. All I can do now is encourage other young girls in the same situation to really consider adoption as the answer and save them the heartache that eventually comes when you make the choice to end a life.”

Adoption is an option that you can feel good about. These days, adoption is accepted as a good choice and the right thing to do. Only you can decide what is right for you, but don’t forget to choose what is right for your baby, too.

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As We Are Approaching Thanksgiving Let

As we are approaching Thanksgiving, let us remember to give thanks to the  birth  parents. Those who made the  though choice to give  birth  and then to  place.  To always remember that adoption is a choice.  To remember the birth parents with love in our hearts, for they made the kinder selfless choice.
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