Abortion is the process by which a newly conceived fetus is euthanized and removed from the mother’s womb. Pro Life activists refer to this fetus as a life, while Pro Choice activists call it a product of conception. Either way you look at it, abortion can have long lasting, potentially harmful, effects on a woman’s mind and, in some cases, her body. One woman recently shared her story with me. She is now in her 30s with children, but at one time, she was 16 and pregnant. She chose abortion.
“I was sixteen years old, invincible, and in love with a guy named Mike, who made me feel like I was the most important thing in his life. I wasn’t a bad kid, really, but I had been skipping school some to spend the day with him, he was a few years older and had already graduated. We were together for about 4 months when I found out that I was pregnant. He was set to go off to boot camp for the Marines soon and I still had two years of high school to go. I went to the local health department where they did a pregnancy test, and confirmed what I already knew. He was shocked, to say the least, and our relationship immediately began to unravel. I have often wondered, had he been more supportive, would I have made a different choice? I felt very alone, and almost as if I were the only one to blame, despite the fact that he had just as much responsibility in it as I did. He began ignoring my phone calls, stopped coming over, and even when I saw him out in public with friends, he didn’t talk to me. I was an outcast, abandoned by the boy I loved and who I thought had loved me. I think he even started to see someone else. My parents had divorced recently and while I did tell my mom about the pregnancy, I never did tell my father. My mom was really great about the whole thing, though she did make me say the words out loud long after she figured out what was going on in the midst of my uncontrollable sobbing. She said she’d support whatever decision I made, but did express her opinion that motherhood might not be the best option for me at such a young age. After a couple of weeks, I made the decision to end the pregnancy. I wish I hadn’t.”
As a young, pregnant teen, sometimes there is the assumption that abortion will solve the problem and life will resume normally, but that’s not always the case.
“My boyfriend, though he could scarcely be called that by that point, had agreed to pay for the abortion and when he brought the money over, I had my best friend take it from him while I hid in the other room. I couldn’t even bear to look at him, after the cold way that he had treated me the past few weeks. My mom and I left very early one morning and headed to Atlanta for my appointment at the clinic. My mom’s car, which had never given her any trouble, broke down on the way there and for the 100th time, I questioned my decision. We got towed to the shop and my appointment was rescheduled for the next week. I had time to change my mind, but I didn’t. I felt as if I were helplessly being propelled forward on autopilot. The next week, the car didn’t break down and I went through with the procedure. I don’t think that I even really knew what I had done. I just knew I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I was lucky that the abortion didn’t leave any lasting damage, as can sometimes happen, and I did go on to have children later in life. Becoming a mom really made me aware of what I had done and even though it has been almost 20 years, I still think about it often and I am aware each year when Fall comes around that I would have given birth at that time. I wish I could go back and tell that young, frightened girl that it’s okay to not be ready for parenthood, but it doesn’t mean you have to end a life. I wish I could tell her to choose adoption. I wish there had been more information available to her about adoption and that someone would’ve told her she could choose open adoption and not have to miss out on her child’s life. All I can do now is encourage other young girls in the same situation to really consider adoption as the answer and save them the heartache that eventually comes when you make the choice to end a life.”
Adoption is an option that you can feel good about. These days, adoption is accepted as a good choice and the right thing to do. Only you can decide what is right for you, but don’t forget to choose what is right for your baby, too.